Research has shown that love comes in several different forms or styles. For the most part, people experience love as a blend of two or three of the styles listed below. Essentially, people have different notions of what it means to "be in love".
Styles of Love: Eros - some people experience love with a lot of passion, intimacy and intensity. Love based on Eros has a strong sexual and emotional component. People who experience love this way want to be emotionally and physically close to their romantic partners and they tend to idealize love. Such love is marked by passion as well as compassion (kindness and consideration).
Ludus - some people experience love as a game to be played with other people's emotions. The goal or desire is to gain control over a partner through manipulation. People who experience love as Ludus like to have multiple love interests where they are in complete control. Lying, cheating and deception are common for people who experience love as Ludus - it's all part of the game.
Storge - some people experience love as a gradual and slow process. When love is based on Storge, getting to know someone comes before having intense feelings for that person. Love based on Storge takes time, it requires genuine liking and understanding of a partner, and it develops slowly over time. Love based on Storge is often compared to the love that one has for a friend.
Agape - some people experience love as care-giving. Love is the overwhelming desire to want to take care of a partner - a parental or nurturing type of love.
Mania - some people experience love as being out of control. Love is an overwhelming experience; it turns one's life upside down and it results in a complete loss of one's identity. Love based on Mania is crazy, impulsive, needy, and short lived. People who experience love as Mania fall in love quickly, but their love tends to consume them. Their love also tends to burnout before it gets the chance to mature. Such love is often marked by extreme delusion.
Pragma - some people take a practical approach to love. Love is not crazy, intense, or out of control. Love is based on common sense and reason. People who experience love as Pragma tend to pick a suitable mate the way most other people make serious life decisions: picking a partner is based on careful consideration and reason.
Finally, it is interesting to note that people who experience love as Mania make perfect targets for people who experience love as Ludus.
And the love styles listed above have also been linked to one's style of attachment. Secure individual tend to experience love as a combination of Eros and Agape. Anxious individuals as Mania, and Dismissing individual as Ludus.
Overall, when thinking about love and relationships, sometimes it helps to keep in mind that love does not always mean the same thing to everyone.
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